If you want a happy post...look somewhere else.

So...it's been a super long time since I posted anything. I should probably make a post with fun pictures and happy things or whatever, but I decided to blog without that stuff right now. So if you're looking for pictures, etc...better go to someone else's blog. Ha ha.

I'm just having a ridiculously hard time with life right now. I know I'm extremely blessed to have a husband that loves me and enough money (most of the time anyway) to pay the bills, etc. But I really don't feel that way very often. I cry at least once a day, literally. Sometimes it's more than once. Sometimes I'm crying so hard that my head starts to hurt. I don't like going to work anymore. I feel like I never laugh, and those of you who knew me before, know that's EXTREMELY unusual. I used to laugh at everything. I'm starting to have self esteem issues for the first time since high school. My apartment is always a wreck because I have absolutely no motivation to clean when I'm home, which doesn't feel like that much lately anyway. I look at people around me who seem happy and I don't want to be around those people. I know they have problems too, don't get me wrong. I just don't want to be around them if they APPEAR happy...

Plus, I am constantly feeling bad about what I say to Travis. He wants me to talk to him about things, and tell him what's going on, but when I do, he starts to get upset because I have hurt his feelings or something. He gets upset with me for not talking to him, and then gets depressed when I do tell him. Then I feel bad, and the whole cycle starts over again. I know the first year of marriage is hard or whatever, but COME ON. I didn't really think it would be depressing.

It's awesome. I really don't have anything left to say, so if you're still reading...go do something happy.

New Years Eve/Rock Band Adventures :)

New Years Eve this year was super cool, dude. Travis and I drove up to my sister Rachel's, and we decided to play Rock Band until midnight. We played for a little bit...

Then David decided to pull out the light/smoke machine...And all of a sudden, the smoke alarm started going off... Here's David trying to stop it with the broom! HA HA!

The kitty appeared quite entertained by the whole fiasco. :)

After the room unfogged a bit we pulled out the apple cider bubbly.

Oh, and busted out those champagne bottle popper things full of streamers. I accidentally pulled one as I was holding it the wrong way...definitely not the most comfortable feeling to have that explode directly into the palm of your hand...

Happy (SUPER late) New Years!! :)

Snowflake's the Place...

...we chose for our honeymoon. We were looking at going to Sedona or someplace like that, but all the B&B's we looked at were WAY too expensive for our budget. We found the coolest B&B in Snowflake, the Heritage Inn, and felt pretty good about it. It turned out to be a pretty sweet place! Great food, nice people, a fun little antique store and soda shop next door, and some tasty Mexican food across the street!





Some pics of our room and the cool shop next door :)






Since we didn't make it to church on Sunday, we took a little field trip to the Snowflake temple. It was cold outside, but so sunny and nice at the same time! Travis got a little camera happy, and we had a fun time taking pictures of each other. :)







A few highlights of the honeymoon:

• The owners telling us they thought we were "kinda weird"
• Getting breakfast in our room
• Sleeping in a king sized bed! (And taking up so much room in it that Travis had about a foot left to sleep on his side...)
• Ahem...you know. ;)
  
• The waitress at the Mexican food restaurant knowing we were on our honeymoon
• Eating a cheese ball and crackers while drinking sparkling cider in our wonderful bed
• The jacuzzi tub!
• The chicken soup from the antique shop (amazing!)
• Being able to visit the temple
• Shopping at the grocery store (and seeing the interesting people that come out in Snowflake) on Sunday...
• Having the cell phones turned off
• Not having a reception the night of the wedding so we weren't EXHAUSTED when we got there! :)

Here are a few more quick shots we took around the B&B the day we left:

My blog posts are out of order...

Well, some of them anyway. Yeah, and I couldn't really care less. Ha ha.

So...here is Christmas. This was kind of a different experience for me...I hadn't spent Christmas away from my immediate family (mostly my Mom and at least one sibling), well, EVER. I was really grateful for Travis and his family to take me in, but I'm not going to lie, I cried at least once...

That said, Christmas was really great. We got some super cool stuff, and were able to give some really fun gifts too! Another thing we decided to make a tradition was to do the Christmas angel tree at the mall. These first couple of pictures were from when we were shopping for one of the Christmas angel kids. It not only gave us an opportunity to serve others, but have fun shopping as well! :)


Maybe that was a random tangent...And here's another. Travis told me how he used to peek at presents when he was younger (last year...), so I made it kind of a big deal to disguise the presents (fill a water bottle with macaroni or put a soda bottle full of candies in with the gift, etc.). I also told him I like to be surprised too, so above, he is disguising my presents too. :) And here's our small little Christmas tree in our apartment. It looked so much better with presents under it!



And...Christmas morning!



Travis had the camera most of the time...which explains so many pictures of me. :) Overall, we had a pretty great first Christmas together!